Vulnerability Sounds like Truth and Feels Like Courage - with Special Guest Bri Siegert

416 Vulnerability Sounds like Truth and Feels Like Courage
Wed, Mar 15, 2023 7:02PM • 55:30
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
eating, disorders, friends, food, craving, people, remember, years, purging, day, struggling, podcast, eating disorder, cookies, sick, mom, super, feel, pretty, talk
SPEAKERS
Intro, Sam Fischer, Bri Siegert

Intro  00:00
Welcome to cowboys, not a gets home of the brave, not home of the fearful. The world needs more cowboys and fewer eggheads. We're everywhere podcasts are found. So tell your fellow cowboys and let's keep the conversation alive on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Remember to subscribe, rate review and share and now cowboys not eggheads with Sam Fischer

Sam Fischer  00:33
Well welcome back to this podcast Bri Siegert. This is Hello Bri. Thanks for coming in again for the third time today. How are you today?

Bri Siegert  00:40
Good. Happy to be back. Happy to be back.

Sam Fischer  00:43
Yeah, so Bri, I think you're tied with best word. Now, as far as most appearances on this podcast, you should get like a gold star in your helmet or something, you know,

Bri Siegert  00:51
tied with Betsy. That's hard. That's hard to do.

Sam Fischer  00:56
I thought today we talk about eating disorders. And it's something that we really didn't get into the Bri story about. And for those that we're not going to go back into the chaos it created. Well, maybe a little bit but we're not going to go back into the chaos story. Anybody wants to hear Bri’s chaos story. We've already got that out there. Right? So we're not going to do that again. So that was like a year and a half ago. Checkout.

Bri Siegert  01:22
Everything has a past every sinner has a future.

Sam Fischer  01:25
So Bri is someone that is, is a nutrition coach has got a great perspective, from the standpoint of having been through eating disorders. And I would imagine that's pretty helpful for a lot of your clients. What what is an eating disorder? What does that mean?

Bri Siegert  01:45
A pure definition. I don't know exactly what that would be if you were to look that up. But um, disordered eating can be many things. And a lot of times, people, I think, have created disordered eating, and it's not diagnosed, which makes it a lot harder to work with if you aren't aware of it, but it's basically just having a mindset towards food having to hyper control their food in, maybe they have anorexia, where they're not eating, maybe they have bulimia, where they're eating and then throwing it up or purging afterwards, maybe they have a binge eating disorder, which sometimes is followed with a bulimic disorder as well, they can have a mixture of all of them. Eating disorders are different on every person, you probably can't just look at someone and assume they do or do not have one. So it can be a pretty, pretty touchy subject sometimes.

Sam Fischer  02:39
And it's probably a lot more common what people think.

Bri Siegert  02:43
Correct through that. Yes, absolutely. And I've even with men, too, which I think is even harder because there are a lot of times not aware of it, or they just think that just something that comes to mind. Previous wrestlers typically have created eating disorders and never really grew out of it. Because when they want to lose weight, they say certain weight and they got it they got to do what they got to do. They know how they've done it before. And they've just I've heard stories Yeah,

Sam Fischer  03:09
these guys are thrown up on the end to get on the scale on the second after they when they go have a large pizzas like that doesn't sound right. Yeah, that's so unhealthy. So recently, it's even been brought, you know, obviously, those that probably listen to this podcast at Brene Ayers CrossFit freaks. Like we are, well, you're not a freak, but and the recently there's been news that Haley Adams who's a young I think she's 22. But she's been CrossFit for about 10 years or something or Yeah, almost a decade or 2324 recently said that she was not going to compete in the games, which is like the equivalent saying I'm not going to participate in Christmas. Simply because she needed to refocus them for mental health a game and that she's been struggling with eating disorders, which was a shock. It was a shock to me. Here's a young girl who appeared to have it together. I mean, you could see her gradually get better every year and and you know, the obviously the pressure must have been immense on her because there have great expectations every year. There were more and more and more, but it surprised the heck out of me to surprise you a little bit. A little

Bri Siegert  04:22
bit yes. I I wouldn't ever like look at her and think that but when you read her story and you see where she started and how long she's been in athletics, it's pretty easy for young girls to develop a type of disordered eating when they're in sports. You know, having relative energy deficiency, meaning they're not getting enough food and for the amount of volume and work that they're doing. So for someone in her stance it are in her place where she has to do so much activity in terms of like training training volume and competitions, it might be a little surprising to people that she struggles with that kind of crazy that she can perform at that level while having, you know, an eating disorder like that, but pretty cool that she's so young and taking the steps to improve that and take a year off and just find herself because her whole identity has been wrapped into sports and athletics. So I think it's really take two

Sam Fischer  05:26
years off, Haley, I don't care take five. I mean, do what you got to do. Good for you. Yeah. Good for you. Shout out to Haley. So, Bree, what kind of eating disorder did you have?

Bri Siegert  05:38
I struggled both with anorexia and bulimia.

Sam Fischer  05:41
It knows that rare. It seems rare. It seems. That's I don't know, tell me, it seems to me that those are kind of opposite sides of the spectrum.

Bri Siegert  05:50
I think for the most part. I don't know if it's necessarily rare. You know, I've talked with girls before and they've struggled with both to some people may veer more one way than the other. I think it went in phases where I would when I was younger, I was definitely like not eating. When I was older, I would go through phases of like, not eating for a long time. And then I would just like completely go through months of like binge eating, purging. And there was never like a it was never linear. I guess it was just dependent on the situation where I was at in life, my stress. You know, drinking had a big part to do with it. Drugs had to be part to do with it, too.

Sam Fischer  06:37
Yeah, I identify with that drinking part of it. Um, you said, I think and if I'm misquoting you'll correct me. But that you were eight. When you first experienced eating disorders? Yeah, as young as eight. Uh huh. So what what, what indicated to you? I mean, clearly, at eight years old, you didn't know it? Probably no. Um, but what? What indicated to you that you, I guess you just started those behaviors at eight.

Bri Siegert  07:07
Yeah, I remember, like very vividly asking my mom if I could go on a diet. And I don't know, like, where I got this, but I was like, I only want to eat fruits and vegetables and yogurt. And that's like, you know, it was like the summertime when my friends were swimming. And I remember like asking my mom to make me like chicken instead of burgers. And each week I would like, I remember like, like, getting out of the shower. This is like eight years old and like looking at myself in the mirror for a long time. Just picking like every flaw that I had and probably creating some that I didn't have.

Sam Fischer  07:45
You say that you wanted to be a dancer a true cheerleader. Right. Was this about the same time?

Bri Siegert  07:50
Yes. So I started dance and cheer I believe both when I was eight. And I remember like, all my friends were super tall lanky, like very, very thin. And if anyone knows me, like I'm very short, stocky, like complete opposite of that. So nowhere in my genetics will ever allowed me to be that way. But I was very like, jealous and insecure of you know how my friends looked in leotards. I never wanted to, like wear my leotard. I would always wear baggy sweatpants and tank tops and get in trouble by my dance teacher for wearing my sweat pants in the warm up. Um, so I just a lot of comparison towards my friends.

Sam Fischer  08:30
It's interesting, because I was going to ask if if there was a particular moment that that spurred that did someone say something to you? It's really interesting when you talk to people. My last guest I we didn't talk about this per se, but I've read some of his story. And he's, you know, he's a carnivore bodybuilder. But when he was a child, he was six or eight years old, and he wanted to dance. He like you. He wanted to be a dancer, you want to be a ballet dancer. And someone called him a faggot. You know, and it changed the scope. It changed that one moment changed the course of his life. That something like that happened to you or somebody said, Hey, Did someone call you fat? Or did someone wizards particular? Do you think there was something specific that that triggered that? Or is it just wanting to be like your friends wanting to be a cheerleader?

Bri Siegert  09:27
Yeah, I don't think there was ever like, the I can think of like, one time it was much, much later. I was 12. And it was actually a family member told me to shut my fat mouth and like I remember for days, like I didn't eat anything. And I think they were just we were like arguing

Sam Fischer  09:44
we're used to being sassy Bri at 12. I probably.

Bri Siegert  09:48
And I mean, I was arguing with this person. And I remember he looked at me and said that and just like wanting to cry and it was also around like the time I was hitting puberty and we had just moved I moved different schools. So that's like, how, you know, I don't have my mom around at the time. So I didn't really have anyone to talk to you about those changes that happen and a female too. So I remember that. I

Sam Fischer  10:09
mean, that's a specific memory. So I'm gonna tell you just shut your fat mouth. Yeah, no, I mean, it's amazing. And words do matter to kids. They soak everything in and you may or may not think that it makes a difference, but it does. I mean, I remember a family member of mine. I don't get too specific. I don't know if he listened to podcasts, who cares. But a family member of mine, I was scared to death of snakes. I was probably six or eight years old. And where they live, there was the to this day, there's a lot of snakes. And they said, don't be a wuss, or a pussy or whatever. But that was the indication. And it, it shaped it shaped the way that I react around them. For my entire life. Yeah. Because I never wanted to be have that perception. You know, I'd never certainly, you know, you know, me, I would never want that perception. But But it's, you know, it's something was said to me, you know, 50 years ago or not on 40? Yeah, 45 years ago. Yeah. And so, that's crazy. So watch what you say out there kids. Yeah. And

Bri Siegert  11:21
another big thing too. And I have seen this with clients many times, especially with women is like how your mom talks about herself, and her body and food. And I remember like, my mom would always talk about or, like, pull up pictures of when she was younger, and she was always like, very thin. complete opposite of me very thin, like, big, but I never got the genetics for the big booty. I always wish I did but whatever. Um, but my mom would always like she was very thin and like always thin growing up. And so I was like, why am I not like my mom, like came from her, you know? And so my mom like, you know, kind of pinching at her skin like arm with her friends, you know, like arm so fat here and stuff and wanting to go on diets and things like that. And, you know, I don't even think my mom was like that bad compared to some of my friends, parents. But I do remember those things. And a lot of times like females when they look back to their childhood, and I have that conversation with them like, Hey, do you remember how you and your mom talked about food? And she's like, Oh, my mom has been doing diets for as long as I was remember since I was born

Sam Fischer  12:33
will you be interested in all that my mom struggled weight loss all her life? What's your tops and there's a program called tops take off pounds sensibly. See it hurt us? Oh, wow. That she went to we and she struggled with it all the time. And I wonder? I don't know. I think it's honestly I think it's genetic thing versus psychological for me, but she did for years and years and years. And I don't know what she did. But in her 50s She started working out and she looked fantastic. Unfortunately, she got a chronic disease. It took her down in two years, but she was in great shape. And it was just I was so happy for her after all those years of of just struggling.

Bri Siegert  13:18
Anyway, it's interesting. No, that's amazing. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Really fun ever for she is

Sam Fischer  13:23
funny. She actually also wanted to talk about my mom this podcast. We should. But she she also is back when there was cassette tapes. Have you ever heard of that? Bri? Cassette tape?

Bri Siegert  13:35
Hey, I Spice Girls on a cassette tape when I was little.

Sam Fischer  13:39
Okay, when you were little. Okay. Well, we I used to have like briefcases of Yeah. Anyway, my mom got into working out and she she really liked like heavy rock music. And like she was wanting recommendation. So I'd like oh, here mom. So I'd like give her ACDC tapes and stuff. She goes I need something with a beat to work out with anyway, I thought that

Bri Siegert  14:02
was cute. That's awesome. That's where you get it from? Um,

Sam Fischer  14:05
it could be it could be Did you did you overeat until you felt sick? Back in the day?

Bri Siegert  14:16
Yeah, there are times I did that. And that's where that like binge purge cycle comes in where you see like, I would like restrict for so long. And then I would just like go crazy. And it would like literally either like make me feel sick, or I just feel so bad that I would go make myself sick to get rid of it. And so yeah, like I think when I was younger it it was more of a control thing. Because there was just so much in my life that like was out of control. Yeah, um, but I can

Sam Fischer  14:47
see ya see podcast before this. Yeah,

Bri Siegert  14:51
I'm just in at that point, too. Like we had moved a lot we were getting placed in different households a lot.

Sam Fischer  14:59
No stability. Yeah, no, yeah, no stability, no consistency. No nothing.

Bri Siegert  15:04
Yeah. And you'll see, you know, people who struggle with eating disorders typically have a control issue. And then they want to use food as a way to control it. And it's kind of a paradox, but like, the more control you have over your food, the less control you actually have. Because there's no freedom in that, you know, but um, yeah, I would go days without eating, and then I would just eat everything. I mean, it was super unhealthy. And it's like, embarrassing to admit and like, even when I think about those times, like, I just remember how terrible I felt physically and mentally, like, it was almost like, you're literally purging like food, but also like, so many emotions, too. So, yeah,

Sam Fischer  15:47
exercise a demon. Yeah, yeah, really? Um, do you like to eat today?

Bri Siegert  15:54
Oh, yeah. I love eating it, too.

Sam Fischer  15:56
Yeah, I'm good at it, man. What do you like about eating?

Bri Siegert  16:01
Um, I think, you know, I do think food is fuel. But I think people who say that food is only for fuel are mistaken because it is made to be enjoyed, you know, I don't think that there would be so many different flavors around the world for us to not enjoy it. Um, so I enjoy, you know, different flavors of food. I enjoy making food that I can share, like recipes that I can share with my clients or members at the gym, or people you know, who follow me. And I enjoy what it does for my body. Yeah, I enjoy having Springfield.

Sam Fischer  16:36
Yeah. Well, thanks for being honest. I appreciate that. Yeah, because if food is fuel, and there was a part of my life where I I know it's hard for you to believe but it was probably a three month period in the year 2017. Were that's the only and it was it was fuel. I looked at it as fuel but it's you know, as you know, I recently got back from Phoenix and you know, I wasn't gonna I gained four pounds coach Bri, get them off. My goal was to lose 10 was down there. I will tell you that I burned more calories down there that I do up here. We're outside. But anyway, you know, I enjoyed going out to different restaurants in the Phoenix area and just trying something new. Southwest cuisine is you don't really get it in Omaha. Let me say that you can but it's not true. And so yeah, I enjoy eating. It's part of my life, but I don't. Yeah, I mean, you have to respect it. I mean, you have to respect what you're doing there. Yeah. And, you know, I tracked I tracked most of the we're not we're getting into this other stuff, but I did track quite a bit when I was down there. I lost quite a bit. And there were days I did right. Yeah, yeah, that's Yeah, yeah. days that I didn't I just don't I can track today. Yeah, that's fine. So anyway, let's get back to eating disorders Did you feel like food controlled your life?

Bri Siegert  18:14
Yes. And if you were to ask me at the time, I would say no, but definitely looking back it did. And you know, this is a really good question to follow up your last one of like, do I enjoy eating? Because for so long? I didn't. I second guessed everything I put in my mouth. I would worry constantly. I didn't enjoy meals with my friends. Um, you know, if my friends even in high school, I remembered like if they wanted to go out to eat to like Sonic or something, I would get so much anxiety and I would plan my purge later. Like I would already have it in set in stone and I I'd think, Okay, I'm not going to eat breakfast or dinner. I'm not going to eat lunch at school. And, well, most of the time, I couldn't anyways, but it's besides plant. So then, um, you know, even as I got older, and in college, and even into, oh my gosh, even when I started at Kinesis, like, I was still struggling, like, I didn't enjoy holiday food with my family. Like I either wouldn't eat it, or I would eat so much of it. It was a hell dressing event for you. Yeah. And I remember like, I literally remember this is so embarrassing. Oh my gosh, I don't even want to say it. But I'm going to I remember like being at my dad's and I was trying to work on my, like, need of control of food, like having less and I was like, you know, I'm going to eat whatever they have served. I'm going to portion it out like appropriately. I'm not going to skip a meal or bring my own food. I'm just going to eat what my dad has prepared and like, I remember that my family making a comment like oh, that doesn't fit in your diet and I lost it like I'll blame sorry, I don't blame my friends but

Sam Fischer  19:58
I have a friend I lost it on Christmas a couple years and you know you are, of course you never listen to my podcast mate. We'll see if he does now. But I lost it too. I mean, in the comment was the comment was what was the comment? The comment is like, you're always on something or you're always like, can't you? You know, like, basically can't you just take a night off? You're always doing something weird. Or at least that's the way it came across me. And I Yeah, frickin lost. I mean, almost lost a friend over the deal. Yeah, sakes. I relate to that.

Bri Siegert  20:33
Yeah, well, you know, my family, like no one really knew. And this is like, the other mistake I made was just constantly trying to do it by myself, I think I would have been a lot farther along in my journey had I just, like, asked for help or seen seek someone out, because I hadn't really since college gotten help with this from a professional. But um, you know, like it, I just felt like, I couldn't win. Like if I brought my own food, or if I you know, ate their food, but you know, chose to, like skip out on like, the stuffing or dessert or whatever, I would get, oh, like, are you eating this because because of your diet or whatever. And then finally, I'm like, I remember being with my boyfriend at the time. And I was like, I'm going to eat what they have, like, I'm not going to stress about it, you know, when I like talked it all out, and I get there. And I remember my dad making that comment. And I just was like, I can never win. And I was like, I said something so mean. And I actually we were just talking about this at the gym, like kind of joking about it now, because this was back in like 2016 or 17. But I remembered saying like, well, if I like you guys every day, I'd just be fat and unhealthy. And like it was super mean. But I remember being so overwhelmed, Drew, I don't like but my dad is not that. But like I will say he's unhealthy. You know, he just, he had a heart attack a couple years ago, and he hasn't done much to change his diet or drinking or smoking and stuff. And that's very frustrating to me. And, you know, they're my family is always asking me for help with their diet and nutrition. And then you know, but I really was making an effort to like, make my family happy. And I was trying really hard to mend my relationship with food. Because at this point, I just realized that it had become a problem. Even though I didn't have like I said, this was like back in like 2016 or 17. I wouldn't say that I was like starving myself as much I wasn't purging anymore, but I still had control issues with food. So like the telltale signs of an eating disorder weren't there anymore, but my control issues still were and I hadn't fixed my mindset. And mindset is everything, you know, with nutrition, and I just remembered feeling so defeated at that moment, because I was really, really trying. And it was like my first moment that I was like, I can do this, like I'm making a change. The irony

Sam Fischer  22:44
is they were actually trying to like, help, you know, like, Oh, that's not your die, like Sorry, or like, you know, we're trying to help you and you took it the other way around. Like everybody's like crashing in on me.

Bri Siegert  22:56
Right? Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I, I remember like being outside with my dad, because I was going to leave. And I looked at my boyfriend and I was like, you can stay here if you want, but I'm leaving. And I went outside. And it was such a like, I felt like such a princess. Even in the moment. I was like crying and in tears and my dad comes out and he like, just gave me a hug. And I mean to this day, he probably still doesn't know like, exactly what I was struggling with. But I was just trying to tell him I was like, Dad, I'm trying and it's like no matter what I do, like, I can't make everyone happy with what I choose to do with my food. And I just remember being so defeated at that point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's

Sam Fischer  23:34
tough stuff, but it happens. Were you obsessive about weighing yourself back in the day? And I'm not sure what we're talking about. We're talking about like, eight from age eight to frickin 30 Right.

Bri Siegert  23:47
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So much. Um, I remember being in fifth grade, and my friends and I comparing our weights to each other. And I mean, I think we made less than 60 pounds. Like my and we would sit there and I don't know if you remember this, but like, low rise, do you? I mean, this was bath shoot, like 2002 or something. And I remember like the low rise jeans like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera. It was oh, actually like the the models it was. The trend was cheek heroin, I think was like the body trend at the time. Like the look was that women just looked like they were pretty heroin users basically. Yeah. And that's what we had. Attractive, I guess. Right. You know, you think of I think like Heidi Klum or whatever. Like those models were at the time Kate Moss is one that comes to mind. And like Laura, you

Sam Fischer  24:43
saw her in person, you'd be like somebody get her a frickin hamburger. Yeah, yeah. And that's

Bri Siegert  24:47
what we had in magazines look up to I remember like, having like thin SPIRATION journals of these models and singers and whatnot like, cut out and taped all across my room. Um, and you know, being in school and my friends and I comparing like, our, our waste to each other in class and like my friend brandy was like, Oh, my waist is smaller than yours when I suck it in like this. It almost touches the back of the chair. And like that's what we would compare. It was it's not healthy talk. He's nasty. Yeah, it was not good. Yeah, I was very obsessive with the scale at that point. High School. Well, when I was in rehab, they wouldn't let me check my weight. So I couldn't see it. And I. At first, it gave me a lot of anxiety. But I was there for four months. And then I remember like, I kind of stopped thinking about it. So then, for a while after I just didn't weigh myself for a long time. And then college and this I'd made a post about this a couple years ago, but I remembered it was right before I started CrossFit. I went to a an Okoboji trip with my friends. And I weighed like 110 pounds. And I cried, I was like, drunk when I stood on the scale. And I remember crying because I wasn't under 110. And like, I was in the double digits, and I like didn't eat the rest of the day. That sickly man, yeah, it was, it really had a lot of power over my brain.

Sam Fischer  26:20
That's crazy. Now, it's interesting, you bring up the, the the models of that time now there's, now there's like a push for plus size models, and like, it's beautiful. And this and that. And it's, I guess my opinion on that is everyone has got a beautiful heart. But if you're weigh 300 pounds, it's not healthy, either. So there's, to me, there's extremes on both sides of this modeling business. You know, you've got the sickly Kate Moss is out there that, you know, look like they came from the Holocaust. And now you've got somebody who's 300 pounds, and you're gonna have heart problems, where have you been following that whole controversy of the plus size stuff? Yeah, I'm gonna be thoughts on that. Yes,

Bri Siegert  27:08
I do. And I think it's largely about perspective, too, because something like I would tell a client of mine that's like overweight is like you need to love your body in every phase that it's in. Because one day like, you're gonna look back and be thankful for the body that you have right now, even though you want to change it for your health, right. Um, and I think that you can have someone that looks like they're in really great shape that's actually very unhealthy. And someone that maybe doesn't look like they're in as good a shape and probably be in better health. But you know, you have someone that's like morbidly obese, that is not healthy in any aspect, that's going to lead to health problems later on, if there isn't already. So. Um, yeah, I do think that like, we've come a long way from the sickly looking models and have healthier models on there. And even some of the models that they say are, like, quote, unquote, plus size are still just regular women. Um, but I definitely don't think that showcasing like someone who's overweight or better yet, like obese is definitely not something you want to be showcasing as healthy because, you know, that's like, the number one risk for having like heart diseases later on in life.

Sam Fischer  28:20
Yeah. Let's talk about not eating. Let's talk about exercising. Okay. I don't know anybody in the entire universe that exercises more than you. Is that fair?

Bri Siegert  28:35
I mean, I'm sure there's people that exercise more than me, but maybe that you know of that that could be possibly true.

Sam Fischer  28:42
Do you exercise a lot because you're training to be an elite CrossFit athlete, or which I believe to be the answer personal it just for the record? Or is there still a little something left over there? When you were when you were coming up? I mean, do you exercise when you're sick now? No, be honest. No. Okay. Did you in the past? Yes. Okay. So there's there's some little provement in that area. Yeah. Um, do you exercise when you're tired now?

Bri Siegert  29:23
It depends. I mean, I do exercise when I'm tired. I I work early. It's just bound to happen that I'm going to have nights where I don't get a full like seven or eight hours. Yeah. Um,

Sam Fischer  29:34
but there's a difference between like, you know, tired we're all tired. I mean, everybody gets tired and every works through it. Yeah. But at your level that you train. Yeah, I mean, when was the last time that you took a day off where you just spontaneously said, You know what, I'm not feeling it today. I'm just not I'm gonna take it easy today. I mean, you may mean, which which debris probably mean she might get on my To be on a row or do a light row or a bike just as just a just a light bike ride or something, or assault bike, just have light flow. But when was the last time that happened for you? Has it happened?

Bri Siegert  30:13
Um, yeah, last week, two days, I did that. I'm awesome. So I was sick the week before. I'm just like a little cold. But I just didn't want to have a repeat of the previous year going into this year's Open. So I just took it really easy. Coming back, because, you know, I had a pretty gnarly injury last year, and when I'm sick, or if I'm really, really fatigued, it gets very inflamed, I can start to feel it just get inflamed. I have to be very cautious about that. And then Saturday, you know, I just had an early work day. didn't get enough sleep that night. So I skipped the class workout and I just had like a 15 minute easy flow, just enough to get a sweat did some rehab and accessory stuff and called it good that day. So

Sam Fischer  30:58
yeah, but those are change behaviors from years past. Are they not?

Bri Siegert  31:02
Yeah, absolutely. I have a man that I would like work out sick. I truth, like, truthfully, I think in 2020 21 When I got really sick, I just kept training. And I think that's why I didn't recover for like a month from it. Um, it was and it wasn't just like training, but like working. I was overworking myself. I was stressed Simba. You

Sam Fischer  31:27
were like doubt like three weeks. You're just like bronchitis and I mean, you just were sick.

Bri Siegert  31:31
It was I think that's our July I got injured too. I had a lot of inflammation from then I did a competition right after when I was like, just recovering with the Miami

Sam Fischer  31:39
a month. Yeah, bronchitis.

Bri Siegert  31:42
I just I still thought it would be impressed. I still had it the week before I left like I was at the doctor's like asking for everything they could give me because I was so ill. And I couldn't walk up my stairs without getting like delayed, like muscle soreness. My legs would be sore from it. Right. Um, so that was an I also like going into it I was an account like in a cut. And that doesn't help you recover. So I had to pull out of the cut, like while I was sick, but it was a little bit too late for it. Like I just was so like under fueled going in to being sick and then super stressed. So it's just like literally a recipe to die.

Sam Fischer  32:20
Yeah. So you've grown? Quite a bit. Yeah. Just recently. Yeah. Well, I've seen it. That's why I brought it up.

Bri Siegert  32:27
But yeah, good for you. And I've just realized, I mean, let

Sam Fischer  32:31
me ask you this, do you think taken two days, if you took the next week off free the next seven days? Do you think that that would? Well, you know, so you did the open workout tomorrow? And then you just take and then you take the whole week off and then you open workout the next day? Do you really think that you'd have any less reps? Because you didn't work out for five, six days? Well, I

Bri Siegert  32:55
just did that. Like the first open workout. I was sick right before and I took seven days off and my first workout back was okay, a pretty easy one just because

Sam Fischer  33:04
I told I was gonna do is listen, but ya know, so I,

Bri Siegert  33:06
I pretty much was like, kind of forced to do it. I wasn't like, super safe, but it was enough that I was like working out probably isn't super smart right now. Right? And I wasn't worried at all. Do you

Sam Fischer  33:18
really think Right? Exactly. It didn't affect you? I mean, you've been doing this for years. So it didn't affect like, Oh, I could have got 10% more reps or some bullshit.

Bri Siegert  33:27
Well, and you know, like something that I'd said, well, Kyle was like joking to Anna Kai Thank You said he's like, you know, this is pretty par for the course for Bri if something doesn't happen to her like right before the open or or something, then I would be more worried. And that's what I said. I was like, I'm not concerned like this is small potatoes I venturi. Yeah. So small potatoes, like I said, but obviously I'd like to train but then you know, I'm also like educated in sports and training. And I know that like a D load before a competition actually helps you perform better. So I just kind of joked around that it was my body's way of giving me a D load and I can go and hit it hard when I felt better. And that's what I tried to do at least

Sam Fischer  34:11
proud of you man. I am proud of you. That's awesome. Going back to the eating disorders a little bit since this is what this podcast is supposed to be about. Do you take longer than other people to eat a meal? Or do you usually finish before everyone else? Is that changed over the years?

Bri Siegert  34:28
I honestly don't eat with people that much. Um, but when I do eat with people I would say I usually for the most part, I'm the last person to finish but mostly because like if I'm out to eat with someone or if I'm eating with somebody it's so rare for me that it's like really to spend time with that person. Yeah, you know, and I want to make sure that I'm I'm focused on them and I think just actually a way to like improve my mindset with food is to like, actually like enjoy My meal and make sure that I'm focusing on all those, like I talked about those flavors and chewing every bite and putting it down. And if someone's talking, I'm not eating while they're talking. So I think it's more just about like, finding purposeful commitment to what the person is saying to me than like, worrying about getting the first or last time

Sam Fischer  35:18
and when you were back when you were a kid hanging out in high school or whatever, was that the case also, I would urge you to zip zip zip, just get to the next beer. I mean,

Bri Siegert  35:27
no, I, if I was like, with people, I would be like, super embarrassed about eating. I like I for some reason, just had it in my head that like if I people like saw me eat, I don't know, I was like, embarrassed to eat in front of people. So um, I if I was like, eating with like, my friends and stuff, I would like push my food around and make it look like I was eating more than I was. And you know, the second they were done, I just stopped eating. Tried to make sure I didn't have any urge that I had food left on my plate and I didn't eat at all. I had like, very weird. Like rules for myself when it came to eating. Do you

Sam Fischer  36:03
did you hide food? Did you hide food? Back in the day?

Bri Siegert  36:07
No, I don't think I ever hid food. No, not that I can think of. I mean, I get actually not I think about it. Sometimes I would have like, not finished my food just because I didn't want to eat in front of people. And then I would like eat it later. But I don't think that that's I mean, like a purpose. Yeah, well, it wasn't like you're hiding spiring Right, right. Right, right. Yeah.

Sam Fischer  36:30
Um, do you eat or refuse to eat when you're tense, anxious or disappointed?

Bri Siegert  36:41
I don't I don't know. That's a kind of a tricky one. Because I feel like sometimes I'll have the if I'm like really stressed or feeling a little like I have like a an intense emotion. My first instinct is to start kind of hyper fixating on my food a little bit. But I know enough now to like realize. Am I reaching for seconds? Because I'm really hungry, or is it just making me feel good in the moment?

Sam Fischer  37:10
Oh, is this making me feel good in the moment? That's Yeah, same goes for seconds. And so

Bri Siegert  37:14
that's very rare that that happens. That's that is very rare that that happens. But I do. I'd say like, if I'm very sleep deprived, I have a harder time managing my cravings. And when I have cravings, it is kind of a it brings back like memories of like, you know, those moments of like binging out of control, where I feel out of control. Exactly. And then I'm like, well, now what do I do with this craving? And I started to have kind of a panic moment. Um, but the house I'll like say to myself, like, alright, what would I tell this person if they were struggling with this? Like, what would I have them do?

Sam Fischer  37:50
What do you do? Well, usually, so it's like a middle of night, you can't sleep. And all sudden, you're hungry as hell and you're you're craving not. So there's there's a difference between hunger and craving. Right. And I think girls, maybe I'm wrong, but I think girls crave more than men. Men are just hungry. Like, you put anything in front. If I'm freaking hungry. I will eat anything in front of me. I mean, I'm a human garbage disposal. Okay. I mean, I would just suck it all in. But women don't they crave like soy craving to me would be more like, you know, you really want something very specific. Is that what is so cravings? Like

Bri Siegert  38:29
I tell people all the time cravings actually are just messages that your body is giving you. And I actually think women are more often than not hungry. Because for the most part, like if I see a have a new female client, and I look at her food logs, typically what they'll tell me is, you know, I eat pretty good during the day, and then at night, I just really have all these cravings and I look at their food and they're barely eating during the day. So yes, they're hungry. And it's coming out in a form of cravings because your body like needs fuel and it will shoot out cravings for you to give it that fuel. Well if you're under calories, you're not getting enough energy in so the quickest energy source is going to be carbs. So what do women crave sugar you know you're under on protein, you're going to have blood sugar crashes, so you're going to be craving sugar. So a lot of times it does come from being under fed they just mistake the message and don't understand how to respond to the signal and

Sam Fischer  39:22
then yield older people have I never knew this till like my wife's grandfather crave sugar or I don't know craves, right. Well, he was a sugar fanatic. I mean, like, really like dessert. It only happened we got older and I don't know why physiologically that is, but I've seen that in more than one person. Which is interesting stuff. Yeah. So you didn't really answer the question was Bree do when she gets up in the middle of night and crazy something What do you do?

Bri Siegert  39:51
So it depends too because like sometimes my training is very intense or long and if I don't feel enough that Day, I will wake up hungry. And when I do I know I made a huge mistake. Because that's always really hard. Because by the time you know, you do get those signals, it's like, Man, I would just eat anything right now, you know, so I have to make sure that I'm really ahead of my training. But most of the time, it would probably be like later on in the evening, if I'm like, you know, maybe had like a really long day at work or something stressful happened. I'm like, Alright, you're not really hungry. You're just, it food. Sounds good. So tuck

Sam Fischer  40:30
yourself away, but does it make it go away? Um,

Bri Siegert  40:33
yeah, you know, because a lot of times, we kind of just hang out in the kitchen, you know, and if, like, you know, my roommates like eating something, and I've already and I'm like, oh, man, that looks good. You know, but I'm not hungry. So it's literally like you have to have that conversation with yourself. And I mean, that's really helpful for me to just like, have that conversation like, can I go to bed and be fine right now? Yeah, like if I walk away five minutes later, I'm gonna forget about this probably. So then I'll just go you know, like start getting my stuff ready for the next day. I love to read before bed. So I'll start reading and then usually by that point, after about five to 10 minutes that cravings already gone away. And I can kind of just move on and and go to bed.

Sam Fischer  41:14
Make it sound simple, but it's

Bri Siegert  41:15
Oh, it's I mean, no, it took a long time like to get to that point and

Sam Fischer  41:19
could you just like get a gallon of water and just trick the water? Well, that's

Bri Siegert  41:25
I mean, hydration definitely is part of it. And that's something that I you know, I've got my water here like I try to aim for about 100 ounces a day and oh, you know, I will say that like water is a big struggle for me. And for most people and you know, you're looking at it I don't always think that you

Sam Fischer  41:40
originally got a gallon jug I've been trying to drink a gallon of water a day. I just it's you know, you can physically see it but yeah,

Bri Siegert  41:46
right. And if you're drinking that much water you don't really have time to be eating a lot you know, you're not going to be drinking other calories either everybody feels that way. But yeah, not to mistake a like it is hard sometimes and do I like given to the craving once in a while. Yeah, but usually it's just enough like I'll you know, one of my favorite things is the chocolate covered rice cakes from Trader Joe's. So if I'm craving something sweet, they're pretty low calorie and usually like just having like one of those with a little cottage cheese I add a little protein to it is enough to kind of like bypass the craving and I'm not overeating. Chances are my body and probably on Instagram, which is at at three and a bigger.

Sam Fischer  42:25
Right so she Yeah, lately you've been putting rice cake cottage cheese like blueberry on the top. Maybe a little pizza seasoning or something. What would you put on there.

Bri Siegert  42:37
So I do like to I like I have like the savory and the sweet one. My savory one is the white cheddar rice cakes, cottage cheese, and I put the Trader Joe's pizza seasoning on it. My sweet one is the chocolate rice cake with cottage cheese mixed with powdered peanut butter. And then I throw blueberries on it.

Sam Fischer  42:52
Well, it's crunchy. And it's got a little sweet and it satisfies your hunger. So good. I mean, that's great. And there's not a lot of calories there. That's That's great. That's great. Back in the day, did you ever feel exhilarated or in control when you didn't eat? Yes. exhilarates you felt exhilarated.

Bri Siegert  43:10
I would be very proud of myself. For not eating I've tracked days, or meals. And not to say that I would go like eight days without eating. But it would be like very minimal, like I remember just eating like popcorn. And having like, that was like the only thing I ate in a day. Or I'm like celery and peanut butter or like an apple and a yogurt. And I would be like really ecstatic that I like farming. Yeah. Hmm.

Sam Fischer  43:39
Interesting. Did you ever take drugs specifically to curb your appetite?

Bri Siegert  43:46
Yes. Yeah. Um, I My brother was on ADHD medication. I'm sorry, dad. I would take his Adderall. I played the system a little bit, got myself prescribed some Adderall. Um, and that would always keep me from eating, even drinking. Like the next day when I'd be hungover I wouldn't really want food. So I just felt like that would be an easy way to not eat sometimes. I didn't really smoke that much weed when I was a lot younger when I started smoking weed. I think that's when I would like purge a little bit more because you obviously get like the munchies and stuff. So me I've never done it. Yeah, so there is definitely a lot of like very typical this way. Yeah, uppers and downers that I would do to prove I was

Sam Fischer  44:41
a cop. I mean, if you saw like a bunch of Doritos wrappers and Mountain Dew and shouldn't have back end of the car. You kind of knew what was going on. Yeah,

Bri Siegert  44:56
yeah, my stepmom too. She always had like fat burning pills. And I remember like taking taking them I don't know if I like took too many or wet but I wasn't eating

Sam Fischer  45:08
super dangerous oh my gosh Mills because they're basically speed

Bri Siegert  45:12
it was the worst it was like the ones that Anna jack up your frickin heart What is her name Anna oh the big blind yeah she didn't Hydroxycut or something. Yeah yeah I remember taking that and being like super shaky and and a coal yes I just remember being like super shaky like very almost I don't know if Scottish is the right word but I was like on edge for days like it was did not say anything my heart was racing super fast

Sam Fischer  45:42
it's like speed yeah any speed these diet pills

Bri Siegert  45:46
I think they have like a warning for like age like 18 and over obviously I was like not that old but that's those were dangerous very yeah very very, very very

Sam Fischer  45:58
Did you or do you still make unfulfilled promises to yourself about what you will or won't eat?

Bri Siegert  46:03
Oh, that's a really good question. Um Yes, yes I do. Um,

Sam Fischer  46:11
but an example.

Bri Siegert  46:12
So this happened really recently oh okay so I a couple from the gym went to water Palooza and they know that I love fat ash bake cookies. They're the best cookies in the world.

Sam Fischer  46:26
I'll be determined. Bring me one.

Bri Siegert  46:29
There's, well she's out of Miami so like I only you can order them but like I only ever get them when I'm at like in Miami at water palooza. And they brought me back a couple of the cookies. And I remembered like, last time having them I like to have them and felt like shit for a couple days. And I was like, Okay, I don't need that much. These cookies are very high calorie, like very high sugar. And like I said, I have this injury that's very sensitive to inflammation. So when I'm very inflamed, it makes the injury worse. Like all injuries are so they are the the issue is it's a bone spur that's right by my spinal cord. And when my spinal cord gets inflamed, it rubs on that bone spur. And when that games, yeah, when it spasms, I can't really move for like weeks. And that's what kept me from competing last year. So it's really just not worth it to me. But, um, I was like, you know, I'm not going to not eat these because I love them. But I do need to control how much so I left them at the gym in my locker. And these two cookies probably took me like three weeks to finish. Just, you know, after training every other day or so I would just like take a bite and eat it. So that's actually like a good way of like, that's like a positive way promising making a promise to myself and keeping it nice, cool. Um, but you know, on the other hand, why did this happen? Oh, man, it was cookies. Anyone who knows when cookies are usually my weakness? Um, oh, it was that my dad's Yeah, I was living with my dad for a couple months last year. And I remember like, like, they kind of always had pastries and stuff around the house, which I'm usually pretty good at controlling it. But there is these like one cookies that I just really, really loved is like the heavy chocolate chip ones. And I like I was like, okay, but you just don't even touch him. You know, couple days goes by like, my willpower is doing really good. And all of a sudden, like I have one of those days where I didn't feel enough from the training that we'd done. I woke up at midnight starving. What upstairs and I'm like, Do you know what? I'm not gonna eat those cookies? I'm gonna have a protein bar. So I had a protein bar. And I was like, those cookies. I'm like, No, I'm gonna have a cup of rice cakes. And I'm like,

Sam Fischer  48:34
rice cake or cookie. So

Bri Siegert  48:36
then I ate the cookies. And it was like literally like something that I tell people all the time. And I didn't follow my own advice of like, hey, sometimes it's good to just eat the food and you'd probably be better off than you would if you were to avoid it eating other things and then still eating that. But you were sick to what she got ahead. I did not feel great. Well, I woke up the next morning feeling hungover. Like I drank.

Sam Fischer  48:57
Yeah, yeah. But it was worth it at the time. Right? Oh, that baby.

Bri Siegert  49:01
I wish I would have just had it helped me at the time. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I did. But so I feel good. I

Sam Fischer  49:08
I've been walking past Oreos lately. Double stuff Oreos. I haven't had Oreo in years. But I've been walking by him lately for forever reason there on the shelf. And he's like, damn, I really thought that would taste damn good. Yeah, and it would, it would let's be honest, it would taste good. But the After Effects. You know, I've mentioned moan about my training. Like I feel like every day at the damn gym. I'm like, basically like sprinting around semi trucks on the frickin interstate and I usually get hit by one. And so I'm beat up. Yeah, and that's me now you're feisty what you do and I don't know how the hell you feel. But those having sugar just amplifies that. Unbelievable. Yeah, it's unbelievable. That's why crosswords a colts one big trick. It's one big trick Okay, The most important part of this podcast, in my opinion is to reach out to people. I hope people listen to this. And if you all these questions are basically I looked them all up, right? I'm not some genius frickin interviewer. But they're all I think they're really good questions to ask yourself. And if you have, yes, I think two or more of these, you probably ought to consider getting help. And so, what would someone do Bry if they needed to get help?

Bri Siegert  50:32
Yeah, so that's a really important question. And I, I feel like a disclaimer should be put on this to that, um, if you are currently struggling with an eating disorder, you should be working with a therapist and a licensed dietitian, um,

Sam Fischer  50:47
as she mentioned before, get the mindset. So you got your brain squared away, and you got to get nutrition. Proper nutrition, educated.

Bri Siegert  50:58
Yeah. And it's out of my scope. I'm not a registered dietician to be working with an eating disorder. Um,

Sam Fischer  51:04
no, but she's a cowboy. Yeah, she's been through some shit.

Bri Siegert  51:07
Yeah. And, you know, I will say that, like, people who are working currently, or have gone through that, like, professional help, and then go to nutrition coach totally fine. But you need to do that inner work first. So I would recommend going to finding a therapist that specializes in that first and then seeing what they recommend in terms of possibly going to a dietician, or, you know, working with that therapist first before before moving on.

Sam Fischer  51:32
How long will it How long will it take? They have to be patient as far as how long it takes to in this struggle? Yeah. I mean, take years. It could take years. I mean, look at me, look at me, although I'm kind of steady. I'm kind of plateaued here. I mean, I've always been a roller coaster, but I'm kinda, I'm kind of in my satisfied place.

Bri Siegert  51:52
Yeah.

Sam Fischer  51:54
I don't have an eating disorder. By the way. I have a dieting problem, but I'm having an eating disorder. Same thing, right. You have to have patience with the damn thing.

Bri Siegert  52:02
Yeah, I mean, it took me like 20 years, you know, granted, I do third year life at work like that I was through it. And I wasn't. I also think that people who struggle with eating disorders, when they start getting help, sometimes they seek the wrong people, or they seek different diets that give them an excuse to continue disordered eating. So like, you might see girls go into like bodybuilding or something like that. And that's kind of like the worst thing that you can do. They also try to like count macros, or things like that. And I also don't think that that's very healthy either. It's great knowledge, but I think it's just an excuse for them to hyper fixate more on their food and just have an excuse for it. So that's why I recommend going to a licensed or a therapist first and, and working on like basics of nutrition, and the mindset practices first before you do anything else.

Sam Fischer  53:01
Awesome. Okay. My question of the year, oh, let's see, if you listen to my podcast. If you had the power, the superpower if I granted you the superpower of being invisible, what would you do?

Bri Siegert  53:16
Oh, man, we just talked about having super powers the other day. And I was like, I would not want this one. This one or like reading people's minds? Um, if I was invisible for a day, what would I do? Jeez, that's tough. I mean, in Nebraska, like, Could I be anywhere?

Sam Fischer  53:35
You can be anywhere in the world. And it could be anywhere. I'm visible. Yeah, you're on a plane? Nobody? No,

Bri Siegert  53:41
I think CrossFit Games is going on, I would just love to see like, what it or sorry, this is like the CrossFit open and everything is going on. I would love to just be like a fly on the wall and see like Bosman or Castro and like all them, like put together the workouts like just what goes into it. Oh, I would just love to see that. Because

Sam Fischer  54:03
it's funny because I have political friends that say, Oh, I'd love to be in the White House or strategy session. And I, the truth of the matter is, the truth of the matter is, you'd probably be disappointed. I don't I don't think it's like some you know, I don't think it's as fancy or is conspiracy theory driven, as you may think.

Bri Siegert  54:23
No, but I do have a couple of friends that are on his or have done they did it the last couple years. The demo teams are like a time alright, and stuff like that. And like they said, it's like really like Dave would have them do a workout and then it didn't go the way he thought and he'd be like, alright, recover. We're gonna do that differently, like within an hour. And she was like, I'm pretty sure I got like adrenal fatigue from that. Like, it was a lot. It was more work than like, competing. Yeah,

Sam Fischer  54:49
yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. Everybody, everybody has a different answer for that. Some people declined to answer it because it's just like, No, I wouldn't want that. I'd abuse that power.

Bri Siegert  55:00
Yeah. Just one day.

Sam Fischer  55:03
Great CMG. Thank you. If anybody wants to get a hold of Bree just DM her on Instagram at St SRIAN A, B i e, g e r t. Wow, that's good. Yeah. Wow. Awesome. I call her Freebirds. But anyway, thanks. Thanks